The past week has been one of dragging all of the ugly things hidden in people, communities, society, out into the light. It has felt heavy and sad. It should feel heavy and sad.
Let this break your heart.
Let what you’re seeing break you open, and as you feel yourself fight to categorize the events of the world, your state, your city–those that feel far from you, or those close to home: pause.
Resist the urge to reach for any one of the many anesthetics at your fingertips–those we recognize as numbing agents (alcohol, food), or those we readily accept as something else entirely (broad-sweeping generalizations, dehumanizing people we disagree with, opinions on the internet, judgement). The trouble is every last one of them is temporary and empty, and when the numbing wears off, the problem persists, and you’re emptier than you were to start.
When you are heartbroken, you are also open. You can sort through each piece of yourself and choose which you’d like to hold onto and which might warrant change. You get to choose how to put the pieces back together. You have the opportunity to pull apart your assumptions, your biases, your first instincts. If you truly search your own heart, you’re likely to find some things you didn’t realize had worked their way in–some you may not like. The world is constantly pressing, working to plant seeds in you. If you find roots that don’t align with who you are and who you want to be, when your heart is broken, you can pull them out. You can do the work to become whole without them.
True unity requires confronting the roots of division; denial can masquerade as peace.
This week has been one of dragging things out into the light. It has felt heavy and painful; sometimes, heavy and painful things are necessary. In order for something to be healed, it must first be known.
So let this break your heart. Let it interrupt your normal, empty you of what never belonged within you to start, make you desperate for healing, and committed to a new way forward.
Interrogate your reality. Ask hard questions. Ask yourself why. Ask yourself how you want to heal. You don’t need all the answers right away. There is tremendous value in wrestling with the questions themselves. “I don’t know” is a start, not a resolution.
So as you slip into fighting the weight of the world, or distancing yourself from it, pause.
Surrender to the heartbreak, for it is good.
Surrender the illusion that you have control over anything outside your own heart, but rest in knowing that is enough.
Let this break your heart, so your heart can change the world.
Tabitha Brown (@iamtabithabrown)
This woman is the only person for whom I actually want to turn up the volume for on Instagram. I want her to give me a pep talk every single day. So thoughtful, so loving, and vocal about stuff that matters. I could tell you more about how she’s built this community, has wonderful food content (vegan, so I mean… I’m learning), and acts. But mostly it feels like a hug to listen to her speak. I promise she’ll make you smile.
New Queer Eye Episodes!
The new Queer Eye quietly released Season 5 a few days ago and it’s as uplifting as ever. This season, they’re in Philadelphia and the people they’re working with are so lovable.
Code Names Online
Our favorite game is Code Names, and praise the Lord, some wonderful coder created an online version. We play with a couple friends via text over the course of the evening every once in a while. If you’ve never played, look up the rules here, then go to town at the link above!