A few weeks ago, some plans I’d made with a friend (and really looked forward to) came apart.
My initial response was—predictably—disappointment.
I moved through it pretty quickly, finding an alternative approach to the weekend, and wound up really enjoying myself!
I spent time doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, with no timeline and no compromises, and it was great! I love my people, but I also love alone time and I was able to lean into full relaxation with my newfound plan.
About a day into my adventure, my aunt asked what I was up to for the weekend, and I found myself typing out what my original plan had been and why it hadn’t worked out, when I stopped.
Just as truthfully, just as easily, I could say that Rory (the pup) and I took a little road trip and spent the whole day doing whatever we pleased! We went to some parks, enjoyed some great views, and completely relaxed. It was great!
A realization (or at least reminder) that I needed:
There are many ways to tell the story. Any story.
I used to talk a lot about what could have been, or what was “supposed to be,” but now I find it feels a lot better to talk about what is, or even what could be.
Years ago, a friend and mentor said to me that expectancy is good and expectations are heavy. I often think about these words and how right she was!
When I enter a situation with rigid expectations—or as I prefer to think of it “a vision for the day,” (do you ever romanticize things like me??) I feel really disappointed when things go differently—even if they’re still positive! I struggle to remain in the moment and enjoy events as they unfold. When I live in expectancy, however, I’m free to enjoy whatever comes my way. I’m not so tied to my original plan of fun that I can’t experience the joy of a different, also wonderful time.
“My friend got sick and our plans fell apart, so I did this other thing.”
“Rory and I loaded up the car and found an adventure!”
Both are true, but one sounds—and much more importantly, feels—way better.
How do you tell the story?
Do you talk about what it was “supposed” to be, or what it is, or what it could be?
Not a thing at all, but a state I do well to be reminded to live in!
Definition: “the state of thinking or hoping that something, especially something pleasant, will happen or be the case.” How lovely is that?
Rory, the pup
I talk about her, so I feel like you deserve a visual aid of sorts. See below.
Hikes & Walks & All Things Unplugged
I have a short list this week because my actual favorite things/daymakers have been very much offline. My days have been improved by walks or runs outside, or–even better–hikes with no service at all. What offline activities are you loving lately?